I have spent much of my life saying that "someday", when I've lost X amount of pounds, when I've reached whatever goal, THEN I will do whatever I'm dreaming.
Because, certainly, I don't DESERVE, I'm not WORTH doing it now, today.
For instance:
Once I've lost weight, THEN I will buy clothes that I like.
Once I've lost weight, THEN I will do my makeup more often.
Once I've lost weight, THEN I will invest in those clothes, rather than getting them at Goodwill.
Once I've lost weight, THEN I will go to weddings, since I feel embarrassed now.
Once I've lost weight, THEN I will buy a pretty dress to wear on a date with my husband.
And, most recently,
Once I've lost weight, THEN I will get a cute, fun, new haircut.
But not before.
Now, I LOVE Goodwill shopping; don't get me wrong. However, I often buy clothes there because I tell myself I'm not worth spending more money on new clothes, especially since "I won't be at this weight for long anyway, why spend the money on clothes I hope to shrink out of?" The problem is, too much putting off of my dreams in life, big and small, starts to make me feel worthless. Satan gets a foothold in my brain, starts that tape a-reelin' in my mind, and tells me that only "pretty" people get to have those things, and I will only begin to enter that category if I've lost all the weight.
Well, that's just not true. Know why? God says so. That's why. Know what else? I'm awesome. No matter what I weigh. Know how often I really believe that? Not often.
So yesterday, knowing I had a routine, split-end-trimming haircut in the evening, I started to wonder:
What if I did something totally different and got a really fun, new haircut???
I stewed, thought, asked opinions, and finally decided on a haircut I wanted to try. I decided I didn't want to wait to start living my dreams until I weighed a certain number of pounds.
So, I got my hair cut. Well, all of them actually, not just one. (That was for my dad, you know, 'cause of "dad jokes". Aren't they funny.)
Before...
.... and after.
It is definitely different for me, there are lots of "well, but..."s going through my head about why it isn't great, BUT I like it! The hubs likes it! And it makes me feel like I'm worth the adventure of a new hairstyle!!!
To the first:
My bravery was sparked by this act of independence and provided as a catalyst to have a discussion with my 8th graders that I've been wanting to have for a while.
As teachers, we often talk about setting goals and forming plans to attain them. So I've been wanting to lead by example! I thought that telling them my weight story, my goals, my plans, my progress would model goal-setting for them while acting as accountability for me.
But I was nervous to do that.
And today I did! It was great! No idea how it landed with them, but I felt good about it!
So today is a great day for Transparency and Living Life Today!!!!!
Question: How are you being Transparent and Living Life Today???
