Exercise: Umm... didn't happen.
Weight Loss: No idea. Didn't check. (Probably a good thing...)
Victories/Struggles: Well...
- I felt fat for a few days
- I felt bloated most of the week
- I ate lots of junk
- I actually don't feel too terribly bad about it, because
- Because there are more important things sometimes
- I spent time with friends, family, and kept my house clean
- I am feeling (again) like I can't reach my weight goal
I don't have the results I want. I can't seem to really stick to anything. As my husband so wisely points out, I have to have motives that will last me through the whole process; the good times, the bad times, the hard times, the easy times. I'm thinking about a Dickens novel... "It was the best of times and the worst of times..." Anyway...
I'm not super happy at size 14 (pants) and 180 pounds, give or take a few depending on the week.
When I'm really on it, I'm working out three times a week for about an hour at a time. I even have a gym membership, remember? Paid in full through August, even if the budget tightens later on...
And that Weight Loss Competition? Oi.
I don't know, you guys. Why is this so hard?
I feel like Eeyore. He was pleasantly rotund. Well, not pleasantly, I suppose.
Today has been a good eating day so far. That's something, right? And the 4th is tomorrow... Burgers. BURGERS!!! Chips. CHIPS!!! Oi.
I don't want to make some proclamation about getting through yet another holiday without falling off the wagon. I'll be too disappointed when it doesn't happen. I get to be with my parents, my in-laws, neighbors, friends, and one of my beautiful little nieces (from Oregon) who isn't so little anymore. That's more important than a pant size in the long run.
But I can't ignore the fact that I have indeed felt a calling to be healthy, to treat my body as a temple, to battle food addiction, turning to God instead of food. My resolve does not hold up to temptation most days. Novelty, excitement, new goals, that can last for a while - but never long enough.
Come on, God.
Let's be honest, He's here.
So, come on, Nicole.
Oi. Today is an Oi day.
Oi.
So tell me: How do you keep going? How do you keep up your resolve?
And, HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!!!! (A day early). Despite my current Oi-ness, I am a thankful American, joyfully celebrating this nation and the God who has blessed it so abundantly. And fireworks make me so happy! Pretty colors!!!
I think it will always be a battle, sometimes you'll be winning and sometimes you'll be losing but the important thing is to never quit. To not let a bad day or even a bad week define you because in the grand scheme of things it's an infinitesimal amount of time. Look at how far you've come and how much you've grown! You might be unhappy now but think of how much unhappier you were before you started this journey. Being healthy is important but you're right about there being more important things than dieting, you have family and friends who love you, a husband who adores you, and you've met goals you probably never thought you could! You can do this!
ReplyDeleteOh Jessica. It's like you are talking directly at me in person! Thank you for your kind words and encouragement! It means so much. I really have been struggling to get my butt moving the last few weeks. :-/ It does make me want to give up entirely - and never step on the scale again... What keeps you motivated?
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