Weekly Update, and Easter

Weekly Update:

Exercise: 3 lengthy walks with the husband (average of 40 min.); 5 lunch walks around my classroom

Weight loss: To be continued!

So far, I am enjoying this not-weighing thing! I am still on plan, still eating well, still exercising- I'm doing exactly what I have been doing, I'm just not weighing. It takes off some of the pressure, and certainly some of the self-loathing.

I did have a minor moment of frustration and disappointment when I tried on a dress to wear to the Easter service yesterday that didn't fit. That dress was loose on me last spring. This isn't new, I already knew I gained weight from a year ago, but it wasn't a welcome reminder.

But - I'm moving on, letting that moment fuel my healthy choices, and trust that the weight will come off. Slowly, but surely, it will come off.

Easter.

As one of the ways that I decided (while relaxing on our Honeymoon-cation) to help me deal with stress and get myself more centered, I have been doing a devotion at night while Kevin is getting ready for bed (his lengthy routine, contrary to mine, gives me plenty of time to do a devotion). After I finished reading the book of Esther, not to be confused with Easter, I found a reading plan in preparation for Easter on the YouVersion Bible app. (I am so not above using technology to be devoted. I've even pulled out my phone in church when I forgot my Bible. Most of the time I'm looking at the Bible app and not Facebook...)

Each night (or next morning if I forgot), I read through the prescribed chapters from the Gospels detailing and describing the events of the Crucifixion and Resurrection.

On Tuesday night, after reading John 15 and 16, I was particularly struck by Jesus' compassion for his friends. Here's this guy, several years younger than my 40-year-old-and-still-delightfully-immature brother, enjoying a very important and special meal with his best friends knowing that he will soon face the greatest trial of his life. And yet his focus was on them.

If it were me? If I was hanging out with my most important people, with my death looming before me, I don't think I'd wash their feet and try my darndest to prepare them for the events ahead. I'd be a mess! A puddle on the floor! Sure, I might try to comfort them all and find peace with my life and death, but it would pale in comparison to my grief.

For some reason, reading this again really hit me. Since getting married, I have been reminded of how easy it is for me to be self-focused instead of others-focused, even husband-focused. My emotions, my needs, my wants, my goals, my plans so often overshadow my others-thinking, even when that is the intention all along!

I'm not trying to be hard on myself here, I do that plenty, I'm just noting how easy it is to be self-focused. The others-focus of Jesus still floors me. And his focus on his friends during the Last Supper really got to me with this latest re-reading.

As this blog is primarily about my stuggles and victories with weight, why am I talking about Easter?

The short answer is that everything is connected. Everything that affects me manifests in my body. Stress, excitement, anxiety, depression, joy. Work, marriage, food, friends, family, exercise, faith. (I could also talk about how family holidays and celebrations are always difficult when trying to count calories. That would also apply.)

I've felt more peace this last week. Whether due to my nightly devotions, fun outings (Wicked!), left-over relaxation from our vacay, or a refocusing of my priorities, I'm thankful for peace when it comes. A feeling of peace makes it easier for me to stick to my weight/exercise goals and not beat up on myself when I don't succeed. Peace will all too soon fade into another task, transition, or trial.

The ultimate goal is to feel peace throughout it all, whatever comes up. Feel at peace and be able to focus on the needs of those around me (though not ignoring my own), especially my precious hubby. "Precious" is a masculine description, yeah?


So tell me: What brings you peace? How does peace affect you?