We Women

Some of My Best Girls.

This past weekend, I spent time at one of my favorite places, Twin Rocks Friends Camp, for a women's retreat.

This is the second women's retreat that I've been to. Both times, I have been the youngest by far. No matter, though; I'm always excited and interested to learn from the Warrior Women who have gone through the battles before me.

The theme this year was the God-Centered Home, or God's Homemaking. There were many wonderful ideas about creating a godly environment in our homes. Many women shared their varied backgrounds - multiple marriages, traditional home and family, dysfunctional family upbringing, nontraditional family configurations. All in all, it was a great time for learning and sharing for the group of women who attended, me included.

However, what I took away, first and foremost, is this: We women need each other.

Have you heard about The Mommy Wars? I hadn't. Not until I read a blog post over at Five Kids Is A Lot Of Kids. Beth has a magical way of bringing humor and truth and vulnerability to her writing. Read her post on Mommy Wars here.

I was quite surprised to learn that this was really a blown-up version of an issue I have been dealing with on a much smaller scale. I wrote about defining femininity here, trying to unravel the mess of opinions in order to say that each woman, each person, needs to do what is right/best for them. In short, that is what Beth said as well.

We women need each other.

We DON'T need women (and I'm speaking to women here) who judge our decisions, compete with our lifestyles, or gossip about our loved ones.

We DON'T need any help feeling guilty or badly about ourselves. Pretty sure we got that one in the bag all by our lonesomes.

It is hard enough to get through each day with a smile on our face. I'll speak from my perspective: It is difficult enough for me to accomplish all the necessary tasks, make the obligatory decisions, spend time with my husband, find time for myself, get enough sleep, eat well, exercise, and make time for people who don't live in our home without added stress and negativity.

I strive to surround myself with women who have similar values and goals. No, we do not all have the same lifestyles. We are so different! Those differences give us greater opportunity for learning, growing, sharing, and a whole lot of laughter. My community is SO important to me.

These Mommy Wars? Really? Let's just take a stand here - decide what is best for our families, and let everyone else do the same.

Can we trust the women in our lives to be doing the best that they can just to get by?

Can we let our judgments and opinions go long enough to simply be supportive, loving, and encouraging?

I need this! Don't you?

We women need each other.

I witnessed the power of camaraderie and fellowship this weekend. Women holding each other up. Figuratively and literally.

Younger women helping older women carry luggage and get up the stairs.

Older women helping younger women make sense of trials and struggles in their lives.

Women doing crafts together.

Women taking walks together.

Women playing Bocce Ball together.

Women eating together.

Women crying together.

Women praying together.

Women laughing together!

I realize that not all women are as socially stimulated by other women as much as I am. But I still believe that there is something special about female friendship. And I am really starting to believe that being choosy about which women get our valuable time is more important than I had thought.

We women need each other.

Married. Single. Divorced. Young. Old. Fat. Thin.

Doesn't matter.

We women need each other.

So tell me: How do you find/make time for friends in your life? What is your favorite way to spend quality time with these friends?