Why I Love "Friends"

I love the TV show Friends.

In fact, I got my husband addicted to it.

I like to speak "Friends" with my own friends.

I actually feel like the main six characters are my friends.

Yes, I am just that silly, but I also see the humanity and reality of these characters. I can see myself in every single character. Do I like that porn and casual sex are treated with levity and portrayed as commonplace? No, not exactly. But both of these are part of this world. That doesn't make it okay, but it doesn't do any good to pretend that the world isn't full of sin, and really, struggling humans.

You see, I love the writings of people like Don Miller, Anne Lamott, Brennan Manning, and C. S. Lewis (thinking of his memoirs). These people tell it like it is. These writers understand how I interact with Jesus. The books, movies, stories that shout "JESUS" after every sentence leave me bruised and annoyed. What I love, what I relate to in works such as Blue Like Jazz, is that Miller chooses Jesus. He tells stories of his life. Adventures. Struggles. And at the end, he still chooses Jesus. That resonates with me far greater than a Christian How-To book.

Don't mistake me. I enjoy those books too. They also have a place. But they do not speak to my soul in the same way. A good friend of mine briefly detailed why she loves Brennan Manning's work, specifically his newest, All Is Grace. This friend of mine speaks my mind. Read her reactions here. (And seriously, while you're there, read it all. She is a fantastic writer.)

My soul, my spirit, resonates most with music and story. I see Jesus in every story I hear. Stories are about us, us humans. Stories, good stories, tell the truth. That is also why I love theatre. Theatre is about storytelling.

So I watch a show like Friends and see myself, the broken pieces of my human self. I see the brokenness of our world. I see a world in need of Christ's healing, His grace and mercy.

And best of all, I hear laughter. LAUGHTER! That is the other component that sets my soul afire. When I watch Joey and Chandler hug it out, when Ross covers his legs in lotion and baby powder, when Rachel and Monica bicker, when Phoebe (well, Lisa Kudrow) almost laughs at her own jokes, I LAUGH!!! Sometimes my sides ache from it. 

It is not derisive or ironic laughter. It is the ability to see our humanity and find the humor in it. The humor, not the guilt. 

Kevin and I had a four-hour conversation one night of our beach trip all about the focus of the Church, especially what is preached. I was being really hard on myself, beating myself up, again, and he told me to stop it. "What? Why? You are too easy on me! Being hard on myself helps me to get better! To be better!"

"How?"

Crap. He did it again. Focusing on my guilt, my mistakes, my failures, my humanity - all that does is keep my eyes away from where they truly want to rest - on Jesus. My history with the Church primarily involves feeling badly about anything and everything I do wrong. (The definition of wrong could be a whole other post.)

Yes, we are to evaluate our mistakes, learn from them. I believe we need to be self-analytical enough to track our patterns, figure out where we go wrong. But guilt? Why does guilt always accompany this process?

Is it learned?

Is it taught?

Is it right?

Is guilt from God?

Is it bad to watch Friends, laugh at the jokes, the antics? Not to me. I don't plan on letting my future four-year-old watch Joey woo some poor girl with "How YOU doin'?", but I do not believe it is wrong to acknowledge the humor in our humanity - without guilt.

If I see two men kissing in a play, I'm not going to walk out. 

I'm not going to boycott The Golden Compass, the movie or the books, because the story is "against the Church". In my experience, this story points on many truths about the Church. It is a wonderful story. As everything, take it with a grain of salt!

If we, the Church, bury our heads in the sand and refuse to laugh at ourselves, we are lost. We lose our relevance to a world in need of compassion, grace, mercy. This is why I love Stuff Christians Like. It's true! It's funny!

Naming my issues, mistakes, failures is productive. Dwelling on them to the point of self-loathing does nothing. That is not of Jesus. That is not acting in the freedom brought by His grace and mercy. So, as ever, I will laugh. And move on.

And go watch some Friends.

So tell me: What makes you laugh?