Be Present, Choose Happiness

A slightly altered version of Bobby McFerrin's song may be playing through your head as it is mine. His message, "Don't Worry, Be Happy", fits my thoughts today as well. 



Happy.



Right now my husband's and my life feels a bit scatterred. He is finishing school, I am working, neither of us knows exactly what we will be doing come June. It's up in the air. I keep thinking that life will settle for us then, but we really have no way of knowing. Not to mention, when does life really ever settle down? Yet I want to plan for where we'll be in June and what our life will look like. Remember that I am a planner? Well, you put "no plan" and "planner personality" together and you get STRESS and WORRY. Neither of whom are my best friends. Though they do tend to hang around fairly often...

Kevin and I were discussing this the other day, among other things. My husband, bless him, chooses to be happy and not complain in nearly every situation. Sure, he vents to me once in a while, but not often. When I am in a mood (which NEVER happens), this can piss me off. I don't want Polyanna ruining my grump-fest. However, most of the time, I am inspired by his willingness to choose happiness in the moment- even when that moment may otherwise drive him crazy. 

See? Happy.





This idea, being present in the moment, letting tomorrow take care of itself, not worrying, choosing to be happy no matter the circumstance, is so appealing. I love this idea. In practice, well, I don't really have much practice. I'm a planner! I think ahead and worry about the things outside of my control.

When I read this, 

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
   And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." (Matthew 6:25-34) (emphasis mine)

I am reminded of the One who does the worrying for me.

Thrown in for Cuteness.

My Protector, the true Planner, knows what is in my heart and mind. He wants me to be happy. I truly believe that God wants each of us to be happy, to enjoy the life He has given us. No, that does not mean life is easy, or that we will be happy every moment. But I think this means He gives us the chance to lay our worries at His feet and choose happiness. He allowed his Son to take on all our sins and worries so that we could live free of those burdens.


So why do I choose to carry those burdens instead of ask for His help?


My favorite verse in the whole Bible is this:

"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly." (Matthew 11:28-30)

I love how The Message words this passage.


There are promises embedded in these words.


I hear God saying, "Nicole, remember who I am. Remember who I created you to be. I don't make mistakes. This life is draining, come to me and be filled. The burdens I ask you to carry are crafted for you - for the gifts I have given you, to shape you into the disciple I need you to be. Spend some time with me. Tell me your worries. I can handle them. Burdens from me are light and freeing. Burdens of the world will take from you until you are empty. My burdens will refine and strengthen you. Trust in me. I am waiting here for you whenever you choose to come. I will never turn away or grow weary of your stubborness. You are mine, no matter what you do."

Little Grump-Fest.

Again, why do I choose to carry those burdens instead of ask for His help?


Maybe because I am a control freak (the not-so-nice, yet perhaps-more-honest title for what I usually call the 'planner'). Maybe because the burdens are comforting in the sense that they are known, while letting them go is unknown. Maybe because I lean too much on my own strength and understanding and start to think that I can do it all on my own. Maybe because I don't want to seem weak by admitting that I cannot do it all on my own. Maybe because I get caught up in the whirlwind of life and forget that He is waiting patiently with open arms. Maybe all of these things.


Along with my tendency to worry comes my self-analysis. These tapes play in my head that I'm not good enough. I'm not doing enough. I worry too much (I even get mad at myself for worrying - which obviously helps the situation). I don't worry enough. I'm not using my gifts for God. I'm not using my gifts at all. I'm being lazy.

None of these voices aid me in choosing happiness, being present, or relying on God's strength rather than my own.


No, I'm not at a point where I can lead (or attend) a woman's prayer group or Bible study in my home, or anywhere else for that matter. I barely have time for the weekly "Bible study" with a few girlfriends that more often turns into much-needed catching up than hard-core study. Being on worship team at church would require an extra hour and a half of driving to my already extra-long day. I keep reminding myself that learning to be a wife, being responsible with the tasks I have been given, taking care of my mind, spirit and body- take up all of my time. That's where I'm at right now. I'm social and I love to be involved - but that's not where I'm at.


My days are full of driving, work, cleaning, cooking, running errands, and spending the little leftover time with my husband. Then we go to bed. Early. When I don't allow those over-analytical and critical voices to take over, I am actually quite happy with our routine. We can have dinner with friends every once in a while, but mostly we keep to our quiet routine at home.


Nope, I don't know what exactly the future holds. Yes, I have dreams and hopes for that future.



But for now, I will revel in:

the beautiful views I have on my way to work;

the ability to pay the bills;

watching Heroes while we eat our dinner;

singing with every fiber of my joyful being on Sunday mornings, as my church family lightens my spirit with their sheer presence;

texting a friend during the in-between moments at work; 

snorting with laughter as I listen to Daria, Mitch, and Ted on my drive home;

falling asleep next to my best friend every night;

smiling every time I walk into our apartment and look around at the home we have created together.

Not my actual driving view. But pretty, nonetheless. And I did take the picture. That counts, right?

(The red curtains were my idea.)

Being present.
Choosing happiness.
Finding contentment.




So tell me: How do you deal with your worries? What tends to bog you down?