Book Review: J-Hud

Because of my crazy schedule, years of forced reading, and tendency to stare into space when I could be reading - I do not read nearly as much as I used to. And I love to read! Once in a while, though, a book or series will capture my attention, and I will devour it as quickly as humanly possible. All of the Harry Potters and the Hunger Games were like this.

While reading Jennifer Hudson's blog via the Weight Watchers website a bit ago, I discovered that she put out a book this January. As I think she is fabulous and a great inspiration, I decided to add it my my iPhone Kindle app and do some digital reading!

After finishing this book in two days, I can tell you this is not a literary revolution. It is simple, to the point, and written by a singer-slash-actress, not a writer. It shows. But this is what drew me in quickly enough that I spent the majority of a drive to the in-laws with my iPhone shining in my face instead of making conversation with my husband and his aunt. It felt like I had sat down to coffee with Jennifer, who goes by "Jenny" in her family, and listened to her recount her story. A story much like mine. I felt the same way when I read Kristin Chenoweth's autobiography. Less like mine, but absolutely hilarious and intriguing.

Much of Ms. Hudson's book is about her journey with Weight Watchers; while it is certainly a huge endorsement, it is so much more than that. Jennifer's story with weight could be anyone else's. She didn't lose weight by paying a huge staff to cook for her and do all her shopping. She did this on her own - which is why I respect her as a role model in weight loss.

Jennifer grew up as a bigger girl. She didn't necessarily see herself as "fat", her whole family was large (not to mention, centered around good food), and she was more focused on her emerging talent than her appearance. This I can relate to. I thought the adobe-colored leggings and coordinating flannel button-up shirt were stylish. I had clunky boots to match. The other kids were well aware of my size, though to me it was simply being part of my family. It took me a while to realize I was different, or at least viewed as such.

After I got through Jennifer's childhood and high school years, I got to experience her journey to fame through her eyes. American Idol, wedding gigs, Disney cruise, Dreamgirls, an Oscar, an album, a Grammy, and so much more. (It's funny - even though I, too, love to sing - I would never have wanted this life. Performing a musical theatre number brings immense joy to my heart, and I have been on stage since I was little. Hopefully, music and theatre will always be a part of my life in some capacity, but I do not envy the constant travel and life-under-a-microscope.)

What struck me most about this book was Jennifer's focus on why she got healthy - and how she did it. In the long run, it really had very little to do with Weight Watchers. That is just a program, a vehicle. Without the motivation, the drive, she would not have been successful. She made it very clear that she has loved her body at every size she has been at. Getting to a healthy weight had more to do with her desire to be energetic and involved with her son and less to do with a number. (However, we share an obsession with the scale; I weigh several times a week, usually out of curiosity.)

I may never get to the same proportional size as Jennifer did, or wear the stunning dresses that she has modeled on the red carpet, but I do believe that I am changing my life for the right reasons and in the right way.

Since I re-started Weight Watchers at the beginning of January, which is to say I re-started my weight loss journey (over two years and counting), I have had a loss nearly every week. But it has been slow going. When I started in 2010, my losses were more dramatic, which allowed me to see more for my work. This time, my losses are slower, but more consistent. I haven't binged since January 26th. No food group has been cut out of my diet. In fact, I'm not really on a diet. Yes, many consider Weight Watchers a "diet", but I see it as a way to structure my relationship with food - something I've never been good at. It is a tool, not a quick fix.

This journey is now about long term health, not a fad diet. Even if it takes me another two years to reach the healthiest weight for my body (not just my current goal weight), it will be well worth it if I can keep it off. If my maintenance can last, if I can keep from yo-yo dieting, if I can focus on practicing a healthy relationship with food, then I'll give it all the time in the world.

I'm not giving up or quitting. This change is for good, in more ways than one.

As Jennifer would say, "I got this!"