That's right.
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| The Enemy? My homemade cheesecake for the hubby's birthday earlier in March. |
I fear Food. Food isn't bad, or good. She just is. (Yes, Food is a she, how else would you describe her mood swings and tendency to over-react?)The qualifier is how I use her. Right now I need to keep my boundaries with this caloric love of mine, Food. We are acquaintances. We used to be intimate lovers. (Does this make me a lesbian?) Then we had that major falling out when I decided our codependency was suffocating me. As I continue to learn and grow as a health-conscious person, perhaps Food and I can renew our lost love, but it will never be the same.
With each passing day, I practice being a healthy member of the relationship.
Yet, when I receive a party invitation, I instantly get anxious thinking about Food. Undoubtedly, the less-Food-focused folks, will supply and enjoy delicious (and calorie-filled) treats. Usually, Food becomes dissatisfied with her table-like throne and gradually slips onto every horizontal surface (including the floating plates) so as to spread her reign.
I must admit, she pretty much reached her goal of overall domination. Why else would I fear her presence when any social get together is mentioned? We both know the answer. Food always shows up. Even if she dressed in green and whole grains for the occasion, chances are she will still tempt me to greediness, taking part in her delicious ways in abundance.
Okay, okay, perhaps I am being too hard on her. Perhaps all she truly wants is to be generous, sharing her warmth and wealth with all who come near. It is much easier for me to vilify her than admit that I lack the will and self control to keep healthy boundaries in our relationship. It's not her fault. Well, not entirely her fault anyway. She has a history of clinging to me more than some others I know; relationships are always a two way street.
As a child, she was often dressed in Golden Arches and Kingly Crowns. To me, her purpose was to not only feed my physical hunger, but to provide emotional soothing.
And this is where I will break down my metaphor, even though I am quite fond of it after this many words typed (and deleted).
I eat my emotions. Always have. I know many share this affliction. In my experience, everyone has their equivalent. Something, some behavior that helps them get through the stress of life. I also over-analyze (everything), control, compare myself to others (which either leads to pride or self-loathing), spend money on frivolous things, and vent (mostly to my very kind and patient husband).
On the positive side, I exercise regularly, eat healthily, seek God's approval and comfort above all other's, and let my husband talk me down (he has gotten very good at this).
Figuring out how to de-stress without eating poorly has been difficult. If you read my most recent post, you know that this is a life-long struggle for me. You also know I am celebrating each successful step! But maybe you don't know some of the practical ways I actively deal with my need to de-stress without turning to Food.
First off, I talk myself down. Okay, actually, my husband is usually the one doing the talking. He knows me well enough to know the logical thoughts burried in my head and pulls them out to show me when my emotions are too inflated to see around. He says things like this:
"Nicole, just because we are going on vacation doesn't mean unhealthy eating should accompany our time of play and rest. Just because your friend is having a party doesn't mean you have to binge or eat mindlessly. It doesn't even mean you have to eat at all. Just because Food is present doesn't mean you have to partake. Just because your school has a cheap cafeteria full of carb-loaded lunches doesn't mean you have to eat it. Just because the teacher's lounge always has sugary treats within doesn't mean you have to go; it also doesn't mean you have to avoid that wing of the school with such fervor.
Yes, this whole weight loss thing is hard. Battling food addiction is hard. Forgive yourself for your setbacks. Move on. Be thankful for the support you have, for the victories you have accomplished. And while we're at it, recognize the permanent progress you have made. Even if your weight isn't coming off as quickly as you'd like, each pound lost is permanently lost if you are truly changing your lifestyle, focusing primarily on health, creating habits and behaviors that can last you a lifetime. Be patient. Take your pain and impatience to your Creator. Remember that you are following His commands by treating your body as a temple - which does not include tearing it down verbally whenever you get impatient and self-conscious. You are fearfully and wonderfully made."
Secondly, I find outlets for my energy and creativity:
- exercise
- crocheting
- singing
- listening to music
- writing this blog
- decorating
- organizing
- cooking and baking
- cleaning
Thirdly, I find ways to relax:
- talking with friends
- spending intentional time with Kevin (walking, Heroes, Wii)
- taking a bath
- praying
- looking at magazines
- journaling
- choosing to be present
- fun things with the husband (let's just leave it at that) ;-)
So tell me: What do you do to de-stress? How do you relax?
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