The Head and the Heart

Alaska, summer 2011.

This just in: I am a new wife. Okay, so that may not be news, but it is certainly true. After a few months of marriage, I am no expert - but I do care a great deal what kind of wife I am to my amazing husband. (Note: I will use almost any excuse to brag about my husband. He's humble enough for us both.) :-)

One of my wedding presents was the book The Power of a Praying Wife, by Stormie Omartian. I had heard of her books, and even have a dusty Graduate version somewhere, but had never read one. A few weeks ago I started having weekly solo devotions. My New Year's Resolutions were certainly a catalyst for this, but I have been wanting to make room for extended God time for a while.

You know that feeling you get when you sit down to have God time and it has been a while? I had cleaned up a bit in the bedroom where I do my devotions (because I cannot focus in a messy space - yes, I am becoming my mother), grabbed a snack (yogurt with grapes), and settled in to enjoy some alone time while Kevin was at class. And that's when that feeling hit. Somewhere in my chest. It's that feeling I get when I spend time with a friend who I haven't seen in a long time. It's not that God and I have been at odds, more that I let the busyness of life take over and forget that I need time with my Creator. Time to rest, heal, and listen. Time to learn more about Him and His Word.

[Tangent: I have struggled with devotions since I was little. Growing up in a Christian home and environment, I always wanted to be that "Perfect Christian Girl". I can still remember who I thought that was as a twelve-year-old. She was always the best at Bible Quizzing, she knew every Bible story our Children's Pastor talked about, and she came from a Perfect Christian Family. At least that's what I thought. So when I went to have devotions, I thought I would need to read my Bible every day for at least 15 minutes, hear God speak to me, pray for everyone I knew, and feel something special each time. If I didn't get the feeling, I obviously didn't do it right. With all that pressure to be "perfect", I never stuck with the habit for more than a few days in a row, a week tops. This was true up until my college years, when I discovered something incredible: God doesn't care if I have the feeling each time, He just wants me to show up. Whether it is praying in the car, in the shower, on the treadmill, or on my knees - He just wants me to show up. Spending time with God every day, living my life according to Scripture, that is my devotion. I'm sure God wouldn't mind if I spent those 15 minutes reading my Bible every day, but I also don't think I will be struck by lightning if I don't. I have been a bit more disciplined about my devotional time over the last several years. Trust me - I'm no image of perfection - but I do try. One thing I've found that really helps me is journaling. It focuses and centers my prayer time.]

For the past several weeks, I have been reading and praying through one chapter from Stormie's book as part of my devotional time. Praying over my husband, and not just my needs and wants, has been eye opening. So often I see him as a pillar of strength and source of wisdom; he certainly has these attributes, but he also has moments of weakness and insecurity. Praying for him in such a diligent and pointed way forces me to think of him first, before myself. And that's the goal, right? During our pre-marital counseling we constantly came back to this model for our marriage: to put God before each other and each other before ourselves. 

The first section of The Power of a Praying Wife goes over many things, but what stuck with me most was the idea of the husband being the head and the wife being the heart. Stormie stresses that these are the roles husbands and wives are to play in marriage. For the most part, I agree with her. I feel the most in my element when I am creating a home that provides sanctuary for my husband and me. And Kevin feels the most in his element when he is protecting me and our home.

The roles of husband and wife have to be learned, I think, and altered to fit the needs of each couple. I'm not talking about who has the job and who takes care of the home, many times it's both! What I'm more talking about are the emotional and spiritual roles that men and women often fall into naturally, or have to fall into to meet each other's needs.

(I have also been reading Esther during my devotional time. What a courageous woman. That would not have been an easy life to live.)

So tell me: What are you reading these days? What inspires you? What do you do to center and focus?