Nine Months of Marriage on a Waistline.

Kevin and I have been married for nine months.

That means it has been one year and seven months since we met.

That also means I have not lost (and kept off) one pound for over a year and seven months.

Losing weight as a single person was a totally different Beast than what I face today. That ugly thing realizes just how hard it is to be a wife, putting my husband first, and still take care of myself - and it wants blood. This is not one of those cute monsters under the bed with one eye and a penchant for dry humor; this is a blood-thirsty animal that will stop at nothing to discover whether or not I could be as wide as I am long.

Some days are better than others, but to be truthful, I haven't had that zeal and focus for losing weight since before I met the hubs. Don't get me wrong, being married is the greatest gift from God I could have received; Kevin is my biggest supporter and constant encourager. It's me, not him.

Telling myself it is "okay" to spend more time at the gym and less time at home (usually after several hours of working at the coffee shop) is so hard to do. Taking any time for my own health that might take away from "us" time seems like the end of the world sometimes. And beyond all of that, it has just been really hard to keep myself motivated.

Why am I doing this? 

I had a list, and it really is true. All of it. But it barely stands up to The Beast (or The Stash) on a good day; it cowers in fear on the bad ones. 

The thing is, I know why. It really comes down to one simple truth: I feel better when I take care of my body.

And taking care of my body requires regular exercise and healthy eating.

It really is that simple.

I am a better me when I am actively pursuing my best health.

Lots of things get in the way. That's life. And sometimes, I really, truly okay with that. A down weekend every now and then is actually NOT the end of the world. A dark chocolate Reese's Peanut Butter Cup mini now and then is actually quite necessary - to my mental health. AND I love food! I love to cook, to bake, and to eat! That's not going to change.

And folks, I do know how to do this. I've done it! I know the facts, the info, the details, the theories... I just have to do it. Little by little. 

And it is oh, so hard. It doesn't get easier to tackle The Beast. I'm back up to 200 pounds. Now you know. I'm not even close to perfect. I'm going backwards on the scale. It is discouraging in so many ways. And yet I choose to force a good attitude and keep trying. (At least that is how I feel right now, we'll see in about 20 minutes...)

I've been going to the gym more often and eating salads for lunch. I've also been drinking 64 ounces of water a day, at least. It's a start. Well, it's more like a continuance. It just keeps going.

It's been a long time since I have really talked to you all, rather than show you pictures and tell you about yummy things I've made. That's all wonderful, and I love to do it, but sitting down to write about how I am is much harder. It takes more time, thought, and energy - things I don't have to spare very often. I'm working about 30 hours a week, which is a total God-send, and that doesn't leave much time for blogging after housekeeping/running, especially when I am also making time for my health.

So bear with me, okay? I think about you all the time. Keep reading. Keep responding. And keep going on whatever goal you are aiming for. 

We'll never be perfect, but we can at least keep going. 


So tell me: How are you coming on your goals? How do you keep motivated?

Honeymoon Highlights in Photos

You've seen bits and pieces from our Spring Break trip. Here are some more:

The sunny view from our third story room.

Blogging on our work day.

 So glad he does the homework! I'll take blogging over reading text books. :)

Enjoying Thai food with Rich and Lora, our vacation providers, while they visited us for a night! We had so much fun eating at this little restaurant (they had three-ring binders for menus, hehe) and playing rummy in the suite. Thanks again, guys!

Delicious Thai peanut curry. Yum!

I think this may have been the only time I wore make-up. Who needs it on vacation?! :)

Thai iced tea!

We decided to be adventurous and drove out on the beach! We kept watching other people do it and wanted to try, too!

Once out there, we noticed that the seagulls were lining up along the shore in a diagonal formation. It was SO windy that no one else was on the beach - except our bird friends.

At one point we had six birds lined up by our car.

I really do love seagulls. You know Iver's in Seattle? Lots of seagulls! 

Every so often, one of the gulls would raise up, let the wind carry it a bit, and touch back down. Then one of the other birds in the line would do the same. It was fascinating watching their patterns. I love creatures. I love seeing the Creator in His creation.

Our "greasy spoon" stop during our trip. I would totally recommend the Loose Kaboose. Great food. Really friendly owner/operator. You get the experience you're looking for.

Halibut fish & chips.

Funland. Seriously. The name says it all. This was only one of the many games we played. We beat the high score! Yeah! (We played at the same time, but that's not cheating. We're just using all available resources.)

He got so many tickets at this game!

Rummy. We play all the time. I can proudly say that I beat him. Once out of the four times we played while on vacation. That's pretty good considering my track record!!

This is our Funland loot! I'm especially fond of the army men.

One of our best adventures was visiting an antique mall on our last full day. Kevin collects playing cards, which we found. I am staring a Fiestaware collection, which I found!!! We also love anything Disney- hence the book. It may also be our "someday baby" nursery theme. (This is not my way of hinting that I'm pregnant. Far from it! Hopefully, that will be a few years away. I just like to be prepared.) :)

Our Goodwill loot! We stopped on our way home. More playing cards for Kevin, more Disney for me! Aristocats is my favorite movie, also.

I am a long-time fan of Deadliest Catch, and have been wanting to try this beer, Northwestern Ale, for so long! Just because it has Captain Sig on it. :) It was a bit too stout for my taste, but it was fun! And now I get to put the bottle on display with my collection. I could SO be a crab fisherman. :)

We played, we discovered, we journeyed, we adventured, we rested, we laughed - a lot, we ate, we watched movies, we baked, we finished Heroes (now we need a new show!), we prayed, we cooked, we read, we talked - about everything, we enjoyed each other. I cannot think of a better way to spend a vacation and long-awaited honeymoon!

So tell me: What do you do on vacation? What are your favorite adventures? 

Weekly Update, and Defining Femininity

Weekly Update:

Exercises: Four days of lunch walking (25 min. each); One elliptical "pump" for 40 minutes

Weight Loss: 179. That's up. 2.6 pounds up, to be exact.

I could scream.

I mean, really. Out loud. Into my classroom. Terrifying my poor students.

Not only did I stay within my lessened-from-last-week points this entire week, but I took measures to ramp up my weight loss. Less fruit. Less points. More water. Longer exercise. And- I went up. This is where I was three weeks ago. Which is where I was five weeks ago. Commence: screaming.

My husband reassures me that though the scale may not reflect my work, that I am looking more toned. And it is true that my clothes are fitting better -though that was true last week as well. Over the last (almost) three months, I can see an increase in energy, fewer mood swings (Kevin, you don't get to weigh in on that), and better fitting pants. That's something, right?

It's enough to want to give up. The three times that we ended up eating out this week, I ate salads. Even with all my home cooked meals and new recipes, I measured, portioned and tracked everything. E. Very. Thing.

Are there sneaky spy calories making their way into my system as I sleep?

Well, speaking of sleep, the hubs and I both know that we don't get enough. I know that lack of sleep can slow down weight loss. And we've been more stressed lately - crazy schedules, finishing law school (for him), dealing with stress at work (for me). We know now that we are moving in June. We are already looking for jobs (that we don't have yet). Our school debt looms over our heads, and will for many years to come. We each are fighting off getting sick - which is hard to do when one of us works with walking petri dishes.

It all adds up.

So, despite my dejected spirit, I will recognize that I am putting as much energy into this as I know how. I'm making the healthy decisions. I still have 11 whole weeks of consistency under my belt (though, I wish it was taking up less room under that belt).

This week I will go to the gym twice and walk during four lunches. I'll keep my daily and extra weekly points the same, even though I could technically raise them since my weight raised. And that's it. No drastic measures. I will choose to trust the process and believe that my body will let go of the pounds when it is good and ready, trying to force greater change will only add stress, which will not aid in this weight loss/health gain process.

There are other things that also require energy from me. Ideas and thoughts that keep my brain occupied. Tasks and lists that demand doing. And preparing for our belated honeymoon trip beginning on Friday.

Speaking of thoughts that occupy the mind,

I'm struggling with the ideas and preachings of (extreme) "Feminism".


Here's the thing: I do believe women can do anything, and should have the opportunities to do so. I also believe that each of us, as humans, men and women, are unique and have different giftings and dreams. So why is it that I feel as though I am now looked down on (or somehow pitied, or assumed to be under the thumb of a man, or The Man) because I dream of being a housewife and stay-at-home mom?

This wasn't always my dream. Many women in my life have preached (by word or action) from a pedestal of individuality and self-sufficiency - to the point of never needing a man. I had it in my mind that if my husband ever wanted me to stay home that he was disrespecting me and holding me back. Ya know, that whole "Woman, make me a sandwich while being barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen!" thing. In fact, I thought he wasn't supposed to have an opinion at all. (Though it was my opinion that he should want to work and provide an income. Never really thought that one through.) What I have discovered is that I actually want these things. Not to be stifled or held back, but to have my home, family, and community as my 'work'.

Throughout the season of dating my now husband, I discovered these desires within me. All of a sudden I was far more interested in decorating, baking, cleaning, organizing - taking care of a man and a home - and somehow this also became taking care of me. As a newly married woman, this is the work I value most. At the end of the day I wish I just had more time to do laundry and dishes so that our evenings could always be spent relaxing instead of working. What often ends up happening is that we do relax and ignore the stuff we can't get done during the day. And fun projects for me? Ya know, all those Pinterest boards I have filled up in hopes of being creative once in a while? Forget about it! (I'd like to think that I said that in a New York accent.)

Maybe you have very different ideals. If you have different dreams, contrasting desires- that's fine with me! In fact, that's fantastic! To each his or her own. How much better do we learn from each other when we share our differences rather than shake them in each other's faces, hoping that 'other' will bend (or break) to our way of thinking?

In looking back on history, and the proverbial "50's Housewife", I can see how the Feminist Movement came about. (However, I think the expectations of men were just as restrictive. Each gender had their role to play and an individual was looked down on if they strayed but a little.) It is my opinion, however, that the pendulum may have swung too far in the opposite direction.

Work, in the traditional sense, has never been my thing. I've known forever that I would love most getting paid to go on coffee dates with people. When I was a single person looking ahead with no marriage in sight, I chose the path of teaching. If I had to work to pay my bills, I might as well give myself the best shot at enjoying the good 'ol nine-to-five. (Though in education, it's more like 7:30 to whenever the job's done... Don't get me ranting on the flaws in and pressures on our education system. It gets me all riled up! Go, teachers, go!) The truth is, it has never been my deepest desire to have a classroom for thirty years.

My deep heart longings were always pieced together with images of marriage, children, a beautiful home, and an espresso machine complete with plumbing and a portafilter (not an automatic!) - not to mention a community of people who always knew which house to go to if they needed anything (my house, in case that wasn't clear). When these seemed out of reach, it came time to put on my big girl panties (funny how this was true in more ways than one at the time) and choose a field that would allow me to actually move out of my parent's home someday. (For a while there, I wasn't sure that was going to happen...)

Those deep dreams of mine started to surface when I met my Kevin; I had shoved them into an old box labeled Save For Later. As we dated and moved toward marriage, their voices grew louder and clearer from inside their cardboard walls. Now that they walk around the apartment outside of their previous cage, I do my best to meet their demands in the few hours not devoted to bill-paying.


Now, in case your feathers are ruffled to the point of disarray, keep in mind that these are my opinions, my dreams. This is not my prescription for a happy life - for anyone other than myself. That's why I struggle with Feminism; the statements I hear or read don't say, "Hey, this is what I think is best," they say, "Your way is wrong." And I don't always agree.

One of my very best friends would probably acknowledge Feminist tendencies, but I wouldn't title her a Feminist. She has her beliefs, I have mine. Many we share, many we don't. We have spent a decade learning to discuss these without taking it personally, respecting and supporting one another. I appreciate that she acts on her beliefs, encourages me to save the world one recycled bottle at a time, and never tears down my chosen lifestyle.

I bake. I cook. I clean. I crochet. I craft. And I love it. I love tending my husband. He loves tending me.

I even make him sandwiches. And he makes me coffee.  

Does this mean I am being stifled or held back? No, this frees me to live into the giftings and desires that God weaved into my intricate design.

I also love make-up and hair products. I love shopping. I love walking around the mall with a Starbucks beverage in hand. I am very girly. Do domesticity and femininity undermine my rights as a woman?

Another huge dream of mine is to be in a musical again. It's been nearly four years! I may love singing with my whole being as a character on stage as much as taking care of my home. My heart lights on fire when I step out on stage - I feel connected to my Creator just as much in these moments as when I look around at our homey apartment knowing it is safe and welcoming. I have many dreams. For now, I trust that each has its season.


If a self-titled Feminist is reading this, please do not take offense. I respect and support your choices - they are yours to make! But if my choice is to use my freedom to take care of a home and family, please do not try to convince me that I'm just being pressured into a man-made mold. This is my choice. Now let's have a treat. A girlfriend of mine has perfected the Chocolate Chip Crack... I'm sorry... I meant Cookie.


So tell me: What do you dream of? What would you love to spend your time doing if bills were never an issue? And while we're at it, what recipes have you perfected and decided to bring to me, an avid Taste Tester???

Flexibility



Borrowed from: http://kellyraeroberts.blogspot.com/2010/09/handwritten-glimpses-another-bit-of.html

 I am a planner. No, I am not saying I am this planner, a metaphysical exercise in an attempt to be one with my schedule. What I am is a list maker. I have lists for everything. There are sticky notes dotting nearly every page of my hand-written planner. This I try to keep up to date with my electronic calendar (iCal, which awesomely syncs automatically with iCloud to my three OS devices - I'm obsessed with toys and organization). If something needs done, I have to write it down. More than once. I do not just remember things. There is also a calendar on the wall by our kitchen where I write down the big events (though, this is mostly for Kevin's sake). 

I am also a bit OCD. Too many times a friend of mine has taken great joy in flipping up the corner of my throw rug, spinning a figurine to face backwards, or turning a DVD jacket upside down. IT DRIVES ME CRAZY! My nieces used to think it was so funny to jump on my bed, once it was made, because they knew it would take everything in me not to force them to get off and then smooth out their terrible wrinkles.

When you put these two superpowers together (here I am using the term superpower loosely), you get: Inflexibility.

That's right. I said it. I am not very flexible. I can touch my toes, but I hate changing my plans. My mother is the same way. It was bound to trickle its way down to me. My dear husband does not suffer from this affliction. He is extremely organized about work and school, but everything else he prefers to leave to chance, happenstance. If it works out, great! If the random idea pops into his head, fantastic! If it sounds like the best thing at the moment, let's go for it!

This combo can cause some friction between these two love birds. He spends so much time focusing his energy into his work that he wants to let loose and not have to think about how the rest of our time is spent. And, to be honest, sometimes his way means we are both much more relaxed. The problem is, I have to plan to be this relaxed and fancy-free. It's my nature.

Example: A while back, I had a couple days off in a row, before the weekend. I knew these days were coming months in advance. Let me tell you, I had a plan for those two days long before they arrived. It mostly involved sitting on the couch reading magazines. Two days to sleep in, relax on the couch, read the articles I never have time to get to, and not worry about a thing. (Note: a plan to relax.) When these amazing two days rolled around, Kevin realized that he needed to run some errands in his home town. "Hey! You have these two days off! We could stay at my parents after we run my errands. We won't have time to do these together before the timeline on these permits runs out."

I could have thought: My husband wants to spend time together since we have to get these things done anyway.

What I did think: He wants to use up MY days off to run HIS errands. And he didn't tell me until the last minute!

This instantly put me on edge. Selfishly, I did not want these two days of possible relaxation to be used up by responsibility. As a single person, I would have spent them on my couch. Maybe I would have gotten a hankering for coffee and socializing and gone down to the local coffee shop. Maybe I would have tried to get together with a friend. It didn't matter, it was up to me. No one else decided how my day off was spent.

Not so in marriage. These are the instances that show me how easy it is to put my needs (read: wants) first and be annoyed at my husband when he voices his own needs, or simply his ideas. It is far easier when I am in control. When I make the plan. When I decide when and what we do. For the most part, Kevin is easy going. He rarely complains. He just goes with the flow. If it weren't for his stubborn streak, a Planner Control Freak like me could bowl him right over. Thank God for knowing what we need more than we do.

I am not very flexible. I want to make the plan and stick to it. I want to put the dishes away myself, because I have a system (and it still confuses him). I would rather work on my own than on a group project. I want to decide who we hang out with and when. If it's my idea, great! If not, I'll have to think about it.

This is a weakness of mine. But I am working on it. God is gracious. So is Kevin.

Sometimes when our plans change, it takes me a few minutes to adjust. Even though it would be great if I could just switch plans without another thought, that just isn't how I'm wired. So I think it through, rationalize the situation (as in, see reality and find the logic, rather than trying to figure out how my way is supreme), and give myself a few minutes for adjustment. Usually this is all it takes. I may be slightly edgy during those minutes, but then it passes. Far better than a car ride filled with tension and unsaid words.

Learning to join two lives into one is no easy task. When folks say that the first year of marriage is always difficult, I think this may be the main culprit. Two lives, two backgrounds, two families, two worlds shoved into one apartment. Mayhem is bound to emerge. But, oh, what sweet, adventurous Mayhem it is!

(Is anyone else thinking of the Allstate Mayhem commercials? No? Just me? The teenage-girl-talking-on-cell-phone is my favorite...Just sayin'.)


So tell me: What quirks or pet peeves hang you up? What do you do about it?

The Head and the Heart

Alaska, summer 2011.

This just in: I am a new wife. Okay, so that may not be news, but it is certainly true. After a few months of marriage, I am no expert - but I do care a great deal what kind of wife I am to my amazing husband. (Note: I will use almost any excuse to brag about my husband. He's humble enough for us both.) :-)

One of my wedding presents was the book The Power of a Praying Wife, by Stormie Omartian. I had heard of her books, and even have a dusty Graduate version somewhere, but had never read one. A few weeks ago I started having weekly solo devotions. My New Year's Resolutions were certainly a catalyst for this, but I have been wanting to make room for extended God time for a while.

You know that feeling you get when you sit down to have God time and it has been a while? I had cleaned up a bit in the bedroom where I do my devotions (because I cannot focus in a messy space - yes, I am becoming my mother), grabbed a snack (yogurt with grapes), and settled in to enjoy some alone time while Kevin was at class. And that's when that feeling hit. Somewhere in my chest. It's that feeling I get when I spend time with a friend who I haven't seen in a long time. It's not that God and I have been at odds, more that I let the busyness of life take over and forget that I need time with my Creator. Time to rest, heal, and listen. Time to learn more about Him and His Word.

[Tangent: I have struggled with devotions since I was little. Growing up in a Christian home and environment, I always wanted to be that "Perfect Christian Girl". I can still remember who I thought that was as a twelve-year-old. She was always the best at Bible Quizzing, she knew every Bible story our Children's Pastor talked about, and she came from a Perfect Christian Family. At least that's what I thought. So when I went to have devotions, I thought I would need to read my Bible every day for at least 15 minutes, hear God speak to me, pray for everyone I knew, and feel something special each time. If I didn't get the feeling, I obviously didn't do it right. With all that pressure to be "perfect", I never stuck with the habit for more than a few days in a row, a week tops. This was true up until my college years, when I discovered something incredible: God doesn't care if I have the feeling each time, He just wants me to show up. Whether it is praying in the car, in the shower, on the treadmill, or on my knees - He just wants me to show up. Spending time with God every day, living my life according to Scripture, that is my devotion. I'm sure God wouldn't mind if I spent those 15 minutes reading my Bible every day, but I also don't think I will be struck by lightning if I don't. I have been a bit more disciplined about my devotional time over the last several years. Trust me - I'm no image of perfection - but I do try. One thing I've found that really helps me is journaling. It focuses and centers my prayer time.]

For the past several weeks, I have been reading and praying through one chapter from Stormie's book as part of my devotional time. Praying over my husband, and not just my needs and wants, has been eye opening. So often I see him as a pillar of strength and source of wisdom; he certainly has these attributes, but he also has moments of weakness and insecurity. Praying for him in such a diligent and pointed way forces me to think of him first, before myself. And that's the goal, right? During our pre-marital counseling we constantly came back to this model for our marriage: to put God before each other and each other before ourselves. 

The first section of The Power of a Praying Wife goes over many things, but what stuck with me most was the idea of the husband being the head and the wife being the heart. Stormie stresses that these are the roles husbands and wives are to play in marriage. For the most part, I agree with her. I feel the most in my element when I am creating a home that provides sanctuary for my husband and me. And Kevin feels the most in his element when he is protecting me and our home.

The roles of husband and wife have to be learned, I think, and altered to fit the needs of each couple. I'm not talking about who has the job and who takes care of the home, many times it's both! What I'm more talking about are the emotional and spiritual roles that men and women often fall into naturally, or have to fall into to meet each other's needs.

(I have also been reading Esther during my devotional time. What a courageous woman. That would not have been an easy life to live.)

So tell me: What are you reading these days? What inspires you? What do you do to center and focus?

A Fresh Start

Welcome to my first (ish) attempt at a blog! The other attempt never made it past two posts before I let busyness of life take over. I am determined to make it to at least three this time! ;-)


Over the last couple of years, and especially the last six months, there have been many changes and new additions in my life: starting a weight-loss/health journey, going through a Masters in Teaching program, dating for the first time, starting a "real" job, getting married, moving out of my parent's house, and now learning how to be a wife. That seems, and definitely feels, like a lot.


All of these "new" things are the reason for the title: A Ginger's Genesis. (And, of course, the fact that I am a redhead, and quite proud to be so!) Genesis. New beginnings. Fresh starts.


So why start a blog now?


Well, I need some encouragement and accountability. And a place to put my thoughts, struggles, and victories! And I need a fresh start - especially with my weight loss. I have lost a total of 90 pounds since January of 2010. Aaaand I have gained 30 of it back. One of my New Year's resolutions this year is to lose 50 pounds to reach my goal weight. My hope is that this blog will be one way to help motivate and encourage me to keep at it.


I also want to share my thoughts and stories about being a newlywed! Running a home (thankfully a smaller one, for now) is much more difficult than I thought. How in the world did my mom always get dinner on the table without one dish getting cold while the other has to cool down to eat it?? This mystery confounds me.


I look forward to sharing some of my life with you, and hopefully learning more about yours!


With love,
Nicole


P.S. - I AM going to get on the treadmill tonight. And I am NOT going to binge on the butter pecan ice cream in the freezer. Check back for the results! :-)